Three cheers for the "sanctity" of Christian Marriage .... PART 1

Three cheers for the "sanctity" of Christian Marriage ....

Divorce rates among Christian groups: The slogan: "The family that prays together, stays together" is well known. There has been much anecdotal evidence that has led to "unsubstantiated claims that the divorce rate for Christians who attended church regularly, pray together or who meet other conditions is only 1 or 2 percent". Dr. Tom Ellis, chairman of the Southern Baptist Convention's Council on the Family said that for "...born-again Christian couples who marry...in the church after having received premarital counseling...and attend church regularly and pray daily together..." experience only 1 divorce out of nearly 39,000 marriages -- or 0.00256 percent. I say "Liar, liar, your pants are on fire ..." A recent study by the Barna Research Group throws extreme doubt on these estimates. Barna released the results of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21. 1 They had interviewed 3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states. The margin of error is ±2 percentage points. The survey found: 11% of the adult population is currently divorced. 25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime. Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.

George Barna, president and founder of Barna Research Group, commented: "While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing. But the research also raises questions regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families. The ultimate responsibility for a marriage belongs to the husband and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the Christian community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing support for marriages." According to the Dallas Morning News, a Dallas TX newspaper, the national study "raised eyebrows, sowed confusion, [and] even brought on a little holy anger." This caused George Barna to write a letter to his supporters, saying that he is standing by his data, even though it is upsetting. He said that "We rarely find substantial differences" between the moral behavior of Christians and non-Christians.

Barna Project Director Meg Flammang said: "We would love to be able to report that Christians are living very distinct lives and impacting the community, but ... in the area of divorce rates they continue to be the same." Both statements seem to be projecting the belief that conservative Christians and liberal Christians have the same divorce rate. This disagrees with their own data. The survey: Denomination (in order of decreasing divorce rate) % who have been divorced Evangelical - Pentecostal 34% Baptists 29% Mainline Protestants 25% Mormons 24% Catholics 21% Lutherans 21% The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs. second or third marriage 50% percent of first marriages 67% of second 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.” According to the US Census Bureau The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 49% The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 68% The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

Don't you just hate when your words that you utter on record come back to "bite you in the ass"? In a small Maine weekly newspaper The Ellsworth American to be exact, the Reverend James Heard of The Church of Life and Praise, was quoted as saying "The gay lifestyle is not natural; it’s against nature." “The human anatomy,” he said, “is not created for a gay lifestyle. The lifestyle is a sin, as far as the church is concerned. It dishonors God’s creation and displeases God.” Really? The HUMAN ANATOMY “is not created for a gay lifestyle" ... but a heterosexual Christian male, placing his penis in his female wife's/girlfriends mouth or anus IS NATURAL. Does this not also displease God. And if he is such a fool to believe that none of his church attendees do not practice either of these things he is sorely mistaken or just plain ignorant. But then again this so called "Church" totally ignores the topics of premarital sex, having children outside of wedlock, cohabiting outside the bonds of "Christian marriage" ... and ... and ... the total acceptance of parishioners attending church dressed like they should be standing on a Boston street corner flagging down "johns" instead. But it must be OK, for these folks have found the Holy Spirit ,and pretend to speak in tongues ... and then ... they go home, with their unmarried partners and continue to sin. I can just imagine the other times that they practice speaking in "Tongues" ... IE Screaming out "Oh ... jesus ... christ ... i am ... i am ... cumming" ....... ! or as Frank Sinatra said "When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out. " .... to Be Continued ... So stay tuned for more jocularity ...

Coming Soon - The Great Gay Marriage Debate or Why Christians only claim to prefer "Heterosexual Sodomy"

Coming Soon (within the next 12 hours) - The Great Gay Marriage Debate or Why Christians only claim to prefer "Heterosexual Sodomy".


but for now ... Ponder this:

"Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing but a vacuum remains." Robert Ingersoll

That vacuum being between the Christian's cerumen ... it is time for the uneducated Christian masses to find their dictionary's. That's D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y. You know, that thing you call a door stop. And here is a hint for those that wish to hazard a guess on what Cerumen actually is ... it is not an angel.

From Salvation to Satan in 3 Easy Steps ... Explained

Step 1: Find Jesus, though I did not realize that he was lost, and find him in a BIG, BIG WAY and then ...

Step 2: Find the biggest concentration of uneducated/undereducated, narrow minded, hypocritical, judgmental self proclaimed Christians in one place. Put on a "Really Big Show" with a lot of shills. Fire up all these wonderful folks into a state of a. grace b. mass hysteria c. group hypnosis d. all 3 and then ...

Step 3: Pass the buckets, con the gullible, gain the power and lose Jesus again ... but don't tell anyone about misplacing Jesus again.

Well there should be more than 3 steps but for the sake of brevity I took the liberty of condensing them all.

Well let's add a step 4 ...

Step 4: Build a monument to yourself ... I mean a church (claim it's for Jesus)... start off small. Say 1,000 seats and then shoot for the 25,000 seat venues all the while ignoring the fact that Jesus said "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:19-21 or as I was privy to hear once "When they see this church they will know that Jesus is here." Oh folks ... hello ... Jesus is Jewish. Where would he most likely go for a service if he were here in the flesh. Maybe the local synagogue. This reminds me of the the antisemitic white supremacists. They hate the Jews but they say they act in the name of Jesus who is ... all together now ... a Jew.

And then watch the money roll in so you can pay for TD Jakes' $1,000 suits.

Joel Osteen's $200 haircuts. Who by the way has made a fortune selling the appalling only-in-America idea that terrestrial greed is actually a form of Christian devotion.

Paula White's Mercedes-Benz, private jet, $2.1-million mansion on Tampa's Bayshore Boulevard and her Fifth Avenue condo in Trump Tower in New York City. Oh and for TD Jakes' 50th birthday White sent Jakes a $150,000 black convertible Bentley (shhh it was supposed to be a secret ... but when 2 people know ... it is no longer a secret).

or how about

Kenneth and Gloria Copeland's new $20 million jet. They pledged that the aircraft would be used for the purpose of serving their ministry only.

These are just a smattering of the big fish. What about the small fry. The ones that always remind you about the "tithe" ... so 10% off of the top of your bank account isn't enough. They do not stop there ... oh no. They try to tell you that Paul was "implying" above and beyond the 10% when he said " So let each give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthans 9:7. I wish I had the ability to know Paul's thoughts.

But as Emeril would say "let's kick it up another notch". Since their church can not live on the 10% plus they add the extra collections (and they condemn the Catholics when they do it) to pay bills that could not be covered by the previous months collections. And then they ask for ... well there is not enough room for the "And then they ask for ... .

And does anyone ever question the finances. Of course not. You can always trust a church where the pastor's wife or brother or daughter or closeted gay lover takes care of the books. You would never find expenditures that shouldn't have taken place such as keeping your son, or son-in-law, or daughter, or (insert name or title here) from having a few extra dollars in their pockets. Or from preventing the closeted gay lover, occasional prostitute or local drug dealer from sullying your good name. Why would someone question the finances.

They wouldn't question because:

1. They can't count

2. They are intimidated

3. They want to purchase themselves a better place in the heaven line ... like when the Catholic Church used to sell indulgences.

4. They think that it works like the world famous Nigerian Scam ... you no the one ... send us $50,000 and we will send you $2,000,000

or

5. They can't count ... oops I am repeating myself here ... my apologies

Or as I heard someone say once about a non-church employee earning their living from a church "Do you expect them to get a real job". Duh ... yes ... just like the rest of the world.

As Dennis Miller woulds say " "...of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.".

There I go again ... blah, blah, blah

Next up but in no particular order: More fallen Christians, The Gay Marriage Debate and the Mayflower Compact, The Catholic Church, Even more fallen Christians, Men with feminine names, Since science has classified only 2,ooo,ooo of the approximately 5,000,000 species The Topic Will Be: That was one big frigging Ark, Again ... More fallen Christians, Besides all the begetting what else did they do between Genesis And Exodus and wouldn't most of it be considered incest, Christian men who have Literally Let Their Wives cut their gonads off, Christian parents who refuse to admit that their children are idiots (and will always be idiots), Why Christians fear education and why education fears Christians, The advantages and disadvantages of marrying a Virgin plus Much Much More ... So Stay Tuned ...

When they fall they sure do it well ....

This blog is proudly sponsored by The First Amendment to the United States Constitution which states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

That said here is a little introduction from Emerson, Lake and Palmer's Karn Evil 9 First Impression: "Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. Were so glad you could attend. Come inside! come inside!... There behind a glass is a real blade of grass. Move along! move along!... Come inside, the shows about to start. Guaranteed to blow your head apart. Rest assured you'll get your moneys worth. The greatest show in heaven, hell or earth. You've got to see the show, its a dynamo. You've got to see the show, its ..." The Oh How The Mighty "pastors" Have Fallen Show. And yes I intentionally left a small "p" on "pastors".

We will start off with ... Todd Bentley ... You remember him. He's the tattooed Canadian evangelist, whose extreme faith healing methods included hitting and knocking down ailing supplicants (kind of like Emeril with his food... BAM), He is perhaps best known for his participation in the Christian-rock driven Lakeland Revival movement, which attracted tens of thousands of worshipers. The charismatic preacher served on the board of directors of the Fresh Fire Ministry group (and apparently "on top off female members of his staff as well") and traveled around the world to spread his message (and their legs).

In August 2008, however, Bentley announced that he would be separating from his wife Shonnah, a revelation that shocked many of his ardent followers. Shortly afterward, Fresh Fire Ministries announced that Bentley would be stepping down from his leadership position and would obtain counseling (maybe with Ted Haggard's therapist - wonder if Ted ever tried a threesome) after it was discovered that Bentley was having a relationship with a staff member (or was it his "member" was having a relationship with a staff person. Or the staff person was having a relationship with Bentley's "staff". (This is to easy ... it's like shooting loaves and fishes in a barrel)

In future posts we will explore other luminaries such as Ted Haggard, TD Jakes (and his now famous son who entertained two undercover police officers with his own "member"), Paula White and so many, many more ... including,but not limited to, folks from my own community in which case the names will be changed to protect the guity ... as Jakie Gleason so poignantly said ... and awayyy we go .....