From Salvation to Satan in 3 Easy Steps ... Explained

Step 1: Find Jesus, though I did not realize that he was lost, and find him in a BIG, BIG WAY and then ...

Step 2: Find the biggest concentration of uneducated/undereducated, narrow minded, hypocritical, judgmental self proclaimed Christians in one place. Put on a "Really Big Show" with a lot of shills. Fire up all these wonderful folks into a state of a. grace b. mass hysteria c. group hypnosis d. all 3 and then ...

Step 3: Pass the buckets, con the gullible, gain the power and lose Jesus again ... but don't tell anyone about misplacing Jesus again.

Well there should be more than 3 steps but for the sake of brevity I took the liberty of condensing them all.

Well let's add a step 4 ...

Step 4: Build a monument to yourself ... I mean a church (claim it's for Jesus)... start off small. Say 1,000 seats and then shoot for the 25,000 seat venues all the while ignoring the fact that Jesus said "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:19-21 or as I was privy to hear once "When they see this church they will know that Jesus is here." Oh folks ... hello ... Jesus is Jewish. Where would he most likely go for a service if he were here in the flesh. Maybe the local synagogue. This reminds me of the the antisemitic white supremacists. They hate the Jews but they say they act in the name of Jesus who is ... all together now ... a Jew.

And then watch the money roll in so you can pay for TD Jakes' $1,000 suits.

Joel Osteen's $200 haircuts. Who by the way has made a fortune selling the appalling only-in-America idea that terrestrial greed is actually a form of Christian devotion.

Paula White's Mercedes-Benz, private jet, $2.1-million mansion on Tampa's Bayshore Boulevard and her Fifth Avenue condo in Trump Tower in New York City. Oh and for TD Jakes' 50th birthday White sent Jakes a $150,000 black convertible Bentley (shhh it was supposed to be a secret ... but when 2 people know ... it is no longer a secret).

or how about

Kenneth and Gloria Copeland's new $20 million jet. They pledged that the aircraft would be used for the purpose of serving their ministry only.

These are just a smattering of the big fish. What about the small fry. The ones that always remind you about the "tithe" ... so 10% off of the top of your bank account isn't enough. They do not stop there ... oh no. They try to tell you that Paul was "implying" above and beyond the 10% when he said " So let each give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthans 9:7. I wish I had the ability to know Paul's thoughts.

But as Emeril would say "let's kick it up another notch". Since their church can not live on the 10% plus they add the extra collections (and they condemn the Catholics when they do it) to pay bills that could not be covered by the previous months collections. And then they ask for ... well there is not enough room for the "And then they ask for ... .

And does anyone ever question the finances. Of course not. You can always trust a church where the pastor's wife or brother or daughter or closeted gay lover takes care of the books. You would never find expenditures that shouldn't have taken place such as keeping your son, or son-in-law, or daughter, or (insert name or title here) from having a few extra dollars in their pockets. Or from preventing the closeted gay lover, occasional prostitute or local drug dealer from sullying your good name. Why would someone question the finances.

They wouldn't question because:

1. They can't count

2. They are intimidated

3. They want to purchase themselves a better place in the heaven line ... like when the Catholic Church used to sell indulgences.

4. They think that it works like the world famous Nigerian Scam ... you no the one ... send us $50,000 and we will send you $2,000,000

or

5. They can't count ... oops I am repeating myself here ... my apologies

Or as I heard someone say once about a non-church employee earning their living from a church "Do you expect them to get a real job". Duh ... yes ... just like the rest of the world.

As Dennis Miller woulds say " "...of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.".

There I go again ... blah, blah, blah

Next up but in no particular order: More fallen Christians, The Gay Marriage Debate and the Mayflower Compact, The Catholic Church, Even more fallen Christians, Men with feminine names, Since science has classified only 2,ooo,ooo of the approximately 5,000,000 species The Topic Will Be: That was one big frigging Ark, Again ... More fallen Christians, Besides all the begetting what else did they do between Genesis And Exodus and wouldn't most of it be considered incest, Christian men who have Literally Let Their Wives cut their gonads off, Christian parents who refuse to admit that their children are idiots (and will always be idiots), Why Christians fear education and why education fears Christians, The advantages and disadvantages of marrying a Virgin plus Much Much More ... So Stay Tuned ...